Tag Archives: hate

The White in the Canadian Flag is Just a Colour.

I started this piece this earlier this morning when I was overtaken by a terrible and overwhelming sense of apathy; a dark “Why bother? You’re beating your head against a wall far denser than brick. It’s a wall of willful ignorance.”

I leashed the dog and went out for some fresh air.

My dog is 100 + pounds of love. He has introduced me to people I would never have met before. Today we met a lovely lady, obviously in the beginning of dementia; we had a terrific conversation…which repeated several times. I met a young boy with his dad, I met another lady, at the bus stop, from the U.S – who told me how she loved Canada and wished that she could stay here because, “Well…Trump.” Chico is friends with a great guy who owns the local television repair shop – he’s Rastafarian. He is a man of colour. Chico doesn’t give a rat’s ass.

He was all over a boy in the park, a few weeks ago; the boy was accompanied by his parents. They were from the Middle East and Muslim. The mom wore a hijab. Chico didn’t care.

He has met people of all race, creeds and colour – he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care which god or lack thereof these people worship. He sees them for what they are – people. Two-legged creatures who either are good to him or ignore him.

Lately, I’ve seen hateful posts from those champions of douchebaggery – the Canadian Patriot and…pardon, but even the typing the following name makes me gag “Rebel Media”. These butt nuggets were around before but since the Great Cheeto to the south was elected? These rags feel, somehow, vindicated and emboldened to spread their brand of Nazi-style hatred and propaganda. They take molesting and rape charges levied against men with names, obviously, not Anglo Saxon and enhance the story. The man may be a Muslim but suddenly, he is a “MIGRANT”! They try and it doesn’t take much effort, to enrage their troglodyte followers into believing that the virtue of white-Canadian womanhood is at risk from hordes of salivating Muslim men. Yes, there are men who rape and are Muslim. There are also Asian men who rape and are Hindu. There are Black men who rape. There are First Nation men who rape. There are white men who rape. In fact, some of the most infamous sexual sadists are, in fact, white. John Wayne Gacy, Clifford Olsen, Ted Bundy, Andrei Chikatilo, Paul Bernardo, Fred West.

My ancestors were immigrants to this country. Europeans, fleeing their own countries due to famine, political unrest and racism.

The settlers at Plymouth Rock, to the south of our nation, were immigrants fleeing religious persecution. They brought their own sort of religious justice with them – the Salem witch trials, which included torture and death by rocks.

None of us have histories that are without guilt, without murder, without…if I must …”sin”.

To those “proud” members of Sons of Odin…first, I dare say few of you are of Norse ancestry. If Norse is part of your heritage, then you are part of a heritage that invaded, murdered, raped and pillaged. If you believe otherwise? You watch too much television. Put the remote and/or the mouse down and go take an actual course in real history, not the History Channel – don’t confuse the two.

Will people enter our country who really should not be permitted here? Sure. We did it with the Nazis, we did it with Vietnam war criminals, we did it with Rwandan genocidal maniacs. The government, the CBSA have to step up their game. Requirements for citizenship needs to be re-examined and the information, sent out, to refugees, immigrants and migrant worker should be more explicit in how/what Canada represents. Freedom, absolutely but a secular society with the obligation to all who step on our shores the understanding that to obey secular law is not optional.

I don’t care what race, creed or colour my neighbour happens to sport; I don’t care if they worship a god, many gods or no gods. I care if they are good citizens. I care if they donate time, goodwill and honesty to my community.

I have lived a relatively long time and in comparison, to the life expectancy, in the lands where many of these new hopeful Canadians hail, I have been blessed to have met people from all walks of life, all hues of colour, almost every religion ever created and in this time frame, I have learned that it SIMPLY DOESN’T MATTER what is on the outside of a human being; it is what is in their heart that matters. I have met more than one “WHITE AND PROUD” Canadian who should be taken to the nearest harbour and launched out into the open sea…with apologies to Neptune and Poseidon for dirtying up the waters…

Bottom line? My dog has more sense than bigots.

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You’re a Prick! You’re a Bitch!

couple-fightingThere is a right way and a wrong way to fight, you know. The right way does not include calling your partner names. The wrong way chips away at someone’s sense of worth and that is never okay.

I’ve been married for over 30 years. It ain’t easy. There are times when both of us wished we had access to a backhoe and a bog. We are a couple with strong personalities, bad tempers and unusual stubborn streaks. (One of us is more stubborn than the other but I’m not naming him.) We have had some horrible lows and some amazing highs. We’ve muddled through as best we could. Neither of us hold degrees in “Successful Personal Relationships”, we just love each other, warts and all.

Over the years I’ve been witness to arguments between couples and this will always give you a good indication of who is going to go the distance, building a strong relationship and who will simply go on to exist as two people living in the same space.

One of the best indicators is name calling and epithets in a heated disagreement. Calling your partner a name is damaging. You may not believe it but it is. It is cumulative damage. If you partner does not believe he/she is the best thing in your life, then you are doing something wrong. Telling her, “YOU ARE A SELFISH BITCH” is cumulative damage in the works. Screaming at him, “YOU ARE A USELESS ASS!” is also cumulative damage. Cumulative damage can’t be repaired after a while.

What can be said then, when you are really pissed? “You are behaving LIKE a bitch.” The difference may seem small but it isn’t. You are not calling your partner a bitch, you are saying that a behaviour is indicative of bitchhood. The same goes for the second example, the use of comparatives in an argument is the difference between a deep hurt that can’t be seen, therefore, not allowed to heal and the pointing out of inappropriate behaviour.

Never call someone “stupid” unless you really do not value a relationship. You can say that behaviour is stupid but not the individual.

Just a little something I’ve learned along the way. It is a simple thing but can really make the difference between a constructive argument and a fight that will never really heal. There was a television show in the 70’s – All in the Family; there is one episode that always stuck out in my mind and it is something that comes back to me, whenever I find myself angry at my husband. It was true then and it is just as true now.

Edith Bunker: [Edith has just broken up a fight between Mike and Gloria] When I was a little girl, my mother and father got into a terrible fight that started just because there wasn’t enough maple syrup for my father’s pancakes.

Michael ‘Meathead’ Stivic: Ma, what we’re arguing about is a little more important than maple syrup.

Edith Bunker: Just a minute! I ain’t finished! They didn’t talk to each other for three whole weeks! And even after they made up things was never the same between them. Now I know that maple syrup is just a little thing, but would you rather break up over something bigger?

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