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An Open Letter to Dean Lapierre

http://www.montrealgazette.com/News/12771752/story.html

Created a wee bit of shit storm for yourself, didn’t ya, bud? Remember how your parents and your teachers told you to “Think before you speak”? This, right here, is a fabulous learning moment for you because you seemed to have missed the memos.

Dude, you ABSOLUTELY have the right to your opinion. You absolutely have the right to withhold judgment, common sense and dignity when airing those opinions. You were cognizant of those rights and used them. Well, Dean, little buddy; opinions are like assholes – everybody has one. You are now hearing from the other assholes who walk this earth who also have opinions. I would be one of them.

Ignore the rabid ones – the ones calling for your resignation, vilifying you and wishing all manner of evil befall you, they, frankly, are simply not intelligent enough to see the irony in what they are doing…as an aside, I wonder how many demeaning or exploitive memes, with men as the subject, can be found on the walls of their FB pages or homes…I do admit, I called you a pustule and a noodle dick, I believe. Heat of the moment thing although, in my OPINION, you earned the epithets.

Dean – something I’ve learned while toiling away on this earth – freedom of speech is a heavy, heavy responsibility. Prior to exercising it; it is vital that you consider all sides of an argument. People have fought and died for the right to their opinions, so when we exercise that right, it should be given the respect it deserves. You didn’t do that Dean. You shot your mouth off without examining the issues at hand. Again, you have the right to say something that to me, appears to be unbelievably stupid, narrow minded, not mention the whole ill-thought out and horrible grammar thing.

Let me explain something to you, without name calling. I know you don’t get it – you can’t get it – oh there are those men who think they can soooo fully understand a woman’s plight but frankly, unless you sport a vagina? You can’t..possibly….get it. These women marched in protest to Trump – an obvious misogynist who seems to revel in that fact – who has and will continue to remove, not erode….but remove the right of a woman’s say over her own body. They march in protest over his intent, they march in protest over the interpretation of equally misogynist men that Trump’s election is permission to voice and to act on their distain, their scorn as well as their need to control women. They are marching for their own safety and their health.

I worked in minor hockey for years and years. Your attitude is not unique. I worked in a male dominate industry for years; your actions are not unique.

Dean – you can go out for a brew and your safety will never cross your mind. You go out for that brew and you pay for it with the money you earned. You have a right to that beer. You have the right to sit at the bar and yak to the bartender or watch “THE GAME” on the television. You don’t have any idea how truly fortunate you are to experience that independence. You have no idea how much you have taken this right for granted. You have turned your back on the Canadians who have fought and died for your right to freedom. Dean….they fought for my rights as well. The problem is, men – with the opinions that you hold – stand in the way of my right to go for a beer after work.

Simple act of going for brew, if you are a woman: I would need to go out to my vehicle, look in the back seat, unlock the doors, get into the car and IMMEDIATELY lock those doors. Pull out of the parking lot and head toward the Brasserie (tavern, in Quebec); I can then open my window because I am in motion. I pull into the parking lot and look for the location closest to the door and well lit. No such spot? I leave. Let’s say, there is a spot – I go in. I am made to feel like a piece of steak; okay…at my age, it’s a really tough and aged piece of steak. I will be watched and judged as to whether or not I am mating material. It is a humiliating experience. It is not, as many men feel, complimentary. It is humiliating, period.

I sit at the bar and the judgment continues around me. Nah, its not my imagination – years ago, I worked as a bartender. I have sons, a husband and as mentioned, worked in a male milieu. I know EXACTLY how it is…

Let’s say nature has decided that there is enough beer in my kidneys and it is time to make room for more. I go to the washroom – I stand at the door way and scope out the area. My safety is compromised in the washroom. Looks good – I find a cubicle, do what nature has requested all the while listening for the sound of the door opening and heavier footsteps…without heels. I also listen for any unfamiliar noise.

When you are a woman, you create sound byte files in your brain – familiar and safe sounds, unfamiliar and dangerous sounds and unknown/unclassified sounds. Same goes for visuals…safe environments, dangerous environments, potentially dangerous environments and unknown/unfamiliar – stay on your guard, environments.

I do what needs to be done – open the door – look around again, wash my hands while looking in the mirror at the environment as well as my face. I open the door and mentally prepare to go through the judging once again.

I go back to my place, and I order another drink, even though I have one that is only partially finished. I do this because I have to do this, in order to feel safe. Drugging women’s food/beverages is a very old technique used by predators and is still used. Little girls, teenage girls and women are taught and reminded of this on a constant basis, regardless though – it still happens and girls/women are raped and beaten.

Sometimes these rapes and beatings are filmed and shared for all men to enjoy. Think about it – your sister, maybe your daughter or your mom – raped, beaten and then having to endure her total and complete destruction by having the event filmed and uploaded. Think about it, Dean – never mind how sick and enraged it may make you – think about your sister, your daughter, your wife and your mother…think about them raped, brutalized and then think about some piece of shit fapping to their pain, their tears, their screams.

I’ve had my 2 drinks and pack up to leave. I make a mental note of who is where, in case I need witnesses. I walk through the door, making sure that no one is behind me and if there is? I pretend to rifle in my purse until that person is far enough away as to no longer be a threat. I go to my car, in the well-lit area – look around me, look in my back seat. Open the door, jump in and lock, immediately.

This is everything a woman must do, just to exercise her right to have a brew, after work, paid for with the money she earned at her job. That’s just a simple beer, Dean. Our lives are made up of similar scenarios, on a constant basis. And then, some tin pot dictator decides what we may and may not do with our own bodies. Yeah. No. There will be protests.

Someone speaking as Donald Trump speaks, behaving as Donald Trump behaves classifies him as a danger. Someone who cannot understand why women choose solidarity via protests, across manmade borders is a potential danger and Dean? That would be you. Women are multidimensionally thinkers, a good number of men are the same; they can care, deeply, about more than one cause at a time. They can protest Trump and his ignorance, they can also protest Wynn and her subjugation of the Ontario family, they can protest racism, bigotry and misogyny. I am sure, if you give it a shot, Dean – you can as well.

Don’t blame women for your current predicament. You took a right of freedom, you took that right for granted. In my opinion, you abused that right. For every action, Dean – there is a reaction and you are now experiencing Newton’s Law right out your old ying-yang. I’m sorry you didn’t pay attention to the Golden Rule of opinions. Good luck.

P.S. Dean?  Here’s one more for you – another reason women are standing together…https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/apr/27/oral-sex-rape-ruling-tulsa-oklahoma-alcohol-consent

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