2015; What I Want, What I Need, What Will Be

The view2What I want is for the world to suddenly catch a clue but I will need to settle for keeping idiocy out of my life, by whatever means available. I’ll be busy. I’m not into the whole resolutions thing; resolutions simply line you up in their sights so they can shoot you down. I will, instead, try to do things more in line with my philosophies. I’ll try, sometimes I will be successful and sometimes I will fail, probably, miserably but I will have learned something.

We will be moving, that’s a definite. Goin’ Up The Country. Leaving the city behind, for the most part – I will still have to drive to and from work on a daily basis. We are not only moving to the country, we will be leaving Quebec. We are both so tired of the silliness related to xenophobic politics, government corruption vis a vis organized crime (read unions). Our community has gone from a unique small town appeal to the start of yet another cookie cutter suburb rife with Yuppie spawn and their offspring.

There are a few things that I want to do; I want to finish a novel – it was something my mother had wanted of me. I’ve yet to do it; I start one off and I almost reach the conclusion when I walk away. It’s a strange phenomenon that has ruled my creative side for decades. I hate to close out a creative effort. If I can manage, I won’t submit to a publisher; I’ll vanity press it for my family and any close friends who want to read it. My personal writing, under which a novel resides, remains personal, unlike the blog which is, for the most part, born of frustration and needing to analyze my thoughts, opinions. I write a blog and then go back some months later to re-assess what I was thinking at the time. Analyze what was going on and try to learn something from it. Kind of psychotherapy.

I want my husband and I to develop some common creative interests. Stained glass has always fascinated both of us.

I want to increase my physical activity. The past 4 or 5 years have been very hard on me, physically and emotionally. When you are strung out on an emotional level, it impacts your body and you end up feeling exhausted most of the time. You do a mental curl up in a ball thing and your body is only too willing to cooperate. You see, both my parents became very ill. I’m not a physician but I knew where their illnesses were taking them. First, I lost my Dad – an amazing guy and then, 4 years later, my Mother. She was living with us following Dad’s passing so I was immersed in the illness and the harsh realities to come. Wiped me out on all levels. I didn’t see or feel it at the time, although Mom did and kept trying to kick my arse over it. It can’t be helped though; regardless of what your rationale mind may tell you, the daughter/son takes over and you are caught up in the knowledge that your Mommy/Daddy are leaving and won’t be back. Every child’s nightmare.

I want to take life less seriously. Enjoy it more. It is short, after all, in the grand scheme of things.

I want to become more involved with charitable efforts; I was prior to the family situation. I should have more time to concentrate on where I can help the most.

I want to read more.

I want to concentrate on my diet; not weight loss dieting but eating better. Eschew anything fried and go back to eating more salads. I love salads. I just hate preparing them.

I will be thankful for everything I have in this life, my husband, my kids, my grandchildren, my nieces – my friends and my co-workers.

I am thankful for my job and the things I learn daily there. I am thankful for having a couple of incredible bosses. The kind of bosses that encourage you to reach higher, to learn more and don’t allow their own egos and fears to get in the way of allowing you to soar when you wish to do so.

2015 will teach me lessons I need to learn, it will teach me things I want to learn and I’m pretty sure, it will teach me things I wish I had never known but that’s life. Each year holds light and each year holds dark; how we deal with both is what will determine a good year from a notta-so-good one.

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