This is just ramblings emanating from a quick discussion on FB. It led to going “Hmmmm” which led to “Why?” which led to musing in the shower. I do a lot of musing in the shower. The thought is born, it is fed and either grows plump or circles the drain with my shampoo and conditioner, unceremoniously dumped into our local water filtration plant to be re-born as something a little more useful. These musings are relative to this situation and does not reflect everyone. It is a simple theory based on personal experience and observation.
I’m addicted to complicating my life as is the other person with whom I was “speaking”. Both our lives are complicated enough, whether through family interactions, societal interactions or workplace responsibilities to turn most people to the bottle or a damn good tranquilizer, but we continue to add what psychologists would call “stressors”.
When we break down the complications that, easily, could form a maelstrom unless tightly “controlled“, the reasons for our constant quest for more things to add to our burdens can be found if we back up to the 15th word of this sentence. The cause of our behaviour is control, probably augmented by low self-esteem. Turning that into a reduction, the true cause is that we do not trust.
I happen to know, both of us had our ability to trust other human beings completely destroyed. Trust was handed and then betrayed in the most catastrophic way. Never to be totally realized again. We don’t trust others to successfully complete tasks and so we do it ourselves. We don’t trust others to be our friends so while we may HAVE friends, there is always a part of us that stands aside and waits for the knife to cut us. We don’t trust the ability of others to interpret knowledge and so we need to learn on our own. Interpret and learn according to our own perspectives.
This really manifests in the workplace. We take on too much because we simply do not trust anyone else to do it. We don’t trust anyone else to “care” as much as do we. We need to control our environment in such a complete way that we will work ourselves into the ground or a burn-out rather than trust someone else to shoulder a burden. We fear that the burden will be shed, on the side of the road and left, unattended. This is the worst possible imagining for us. That we have lost control and as a result, something negative as occurred…because we trusted.
We’ve had that trust torn to pieces and the emotional pain was/is so great that we are always on guard against that pain ever being inflicted again.
So girl? I believe that’s why we do it. We do it to protect ourselves, to control and ensure that we don’t ever get hurt again.