Caesarians; You Didn’t Fail.

Baba and CaseySo you will have, are having, have had a Caesarian. You tell people and the usual response is, “Oh…why?” or “Oh, too bad.” First response, “None of your business, really.” Second response, “Oh, I see – better the baby or myself die during the birthing process so we can be all natural and stuff.”

My boys were Caesarian. They were born healthy, fully formed little bundles of joy. My husband was allowed into the operating room for number 3’s arrival so we were allowed to share in the experience. Do I ever regret not going through the birthing process, “naturally”? No. I have no frame of reference so I certainly don’t feel I missed anything. I was there for my granddaughter’s birth – I saw her crown, I saw her join the family. It was awesome. I’m very glad I was there to witness her birth. It is something that brings a smile to my face whenever I think about it.

Do I “wish” I could have done the same? Not really. I liked the way things were handled. The doctor was very informative. The nurses were awesome and the end result was the same. I had my babies. I was no less bonded to these little miracles than a vaginal birth mother. They were and will always be the sunshine in my life. There were, of course, those idiots who felt the need to tell me how much I missed and how the bonding just “wasn’t the same.” Sighhh. For decades, I had this secret shame that somehow, I had failed at this most primal of skills – to birth. Not due to my own opinion – I didn’t care when the doctor told me a C-section was an absolute. My care was that my child would be healthy. After my first, I soon discovered that in the eyes of some segments of society (exclusively female), I was somehow…less than. Pfff. Okay. Yeah. So I didn’t have to push or sit in a sitz bath. I didn’t have to scream or moan. My vagina wasn’t stretched beyond what should be humanly possible but the end result was the same as the women in the beds, in every room, down that hallway; I had a baby. A beautiful, healthy baby. No less loved, no less of a bonding, simply more stitches. Same result – different method.

I found a blog this morning, a Mom posted photos of her daughter’s birth via Caesarian and I was enthralled. (http://bundleintheoven.blogspot.ca/2013/06/more-to-come.html) This is what it looked like and it is no less a wonder than the photos of vaginal birth.

So the next time a Mom mentions that she has had a Caesarian – think a second before opening your stupido bocca; how the baby arrived is of no consequence, that the baby arrived should be your only focus. Mother is no less a mother due to method of delivery.

7 Comments

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7 responses to “Caesarians; You Didn’t Fail.

  1. SERIOUSLY? People are judgemental about it? I’ve never come across that. You can be sure if I ever do I will put them right. Ye Gods……

    • Oh absolutely, Melanie! The same with breastfeeding; the boys could not be breastfed and somehow, I was not a “real mother” or there was that CLSC nurse who gave me the stink eye and seemed to think I was making it up….People believing that the C-section is always the choice of a lazy or vain or both, mother.

      • I wasn’t able to breastfeed either. The criticism I got there was subtle, and there wasn’t too much, so I got off lightly, but I did experience it, certainly. Not sure what is wrong with people who feel the need to do this.

      • Did you get “WITH THOSE BOOBS? AND YOU CAN’T BREASTFEED???” That’s my all-time favourite “Stupid breastfeeding comments”.

      • I never had boobs when I was young. In fact I think people probably assumed that was my problem!

      • I had the boobs and for some reason, people assumed that this meant I was a dairy farm. In actuality; there is something in my milk that caused the boys to have horrendous reactions. Not my diet, for sure as my diet was COMPLETELY different for both. Poor little mites developed horrible ulcers on their little bums and the doctor discovered it was from my milk. Once we switched to Isomil? They were fine.

      • Utter nonsense. Sian has enough boobs for two people but even with drugs could not lactate properly.

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