I Hate Social Convention

SheldonSocial norms are the behaviors and cues within a society or group. This sociological term has been defined as “the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. These rules may be explicit or implicit. Failure to follow the rules can result in severe punishments, including exclusion from the group.” They have also been described as the “customary rules of behavior that coordinate our interactions with others.”

The social norms indicate the established and approved ways of doing things, of dress, of speech and of appearance. These vary and evolve not only through time but also vary from one age group to another and between social classes and groups. What is deemed to be acceptable dress, speech or behavior in one social group may not be accepted in another.

Deference to the social norms maintains one’s acceptance and popularity within a particular group; ignoring the social norms risks one becoming unacceptable, unpopular or even an outcast from a group. Social norms tend to be tacitly established and maintained through body language and non-verbal communication between people in their normal social discourse.

We soon come to know when and where it is appropriate to say certain things, to use certain words, to discuss certain topics or wear certain clothes, and when not to. Such knowledge about cultural norms is important for impression management which is an individual’s regulation of their nonverbal behaviour. We also come to know through experience what types of people we can and cannot discuss certain topics with or wear certain types of dress around. Mostly this knowledge is derived experientially. (http://www.princeton.edu/~achaney/tmve/wiki100k/docs/Norm_(sociology).html)

I hate the entire “social norms or convention” concept. I hate them. They demand hypocrisy and hypocrisy, to be quite blunt is bullshit in action. We are expected to behave in a socially acceptable manner even if those around us behave outside of acceptable norms. I am not talking about superficial acceptable norms, like modes of dress; I am talking about common courtesy, common sense and higher human behavioral standards.

I hate being expected to attend events in which I have no interest. I hate being forced into polite behavior toward people who would be far more at home in pig stys than socializing with normal human beings. But we are constantly told that we must rise above, we must be “better” than those of lesser behavioral standards, be this in the workplace, in social situations or even within family. Most of the time, I am able to “politely” decline invitations but there are times when one cannot decline. Where biting the bullet is not only expected, it is demanded.

There are times when I truly wish I were Sheldon Cooper.


Filed under Whatnot

3 responses to “I Hate Social Convention

  1. This is why I took such pleasure in the film “silver linings playbook”, as the leads just don’t play that way, and know it.

  2. Because I live with Tom, my own natural rebellion (and occasional iconoclasm, if we’re being honest) has been heightened. I constantly question it all, even if I choose, for the sake of the feelings of others, to go along with norms I find ridiculous. But if I find them wrong, then I just refuse. I don’t care what people thing of me if their thoughts are guided by habit rather than ethics. It’s just too bad. Social taboos….that’s a half-written blog. I’ll get to it eventually.

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