Tolerance, Pseudo-Yuppies and their Spawn

Modern-Yuppie-Handbook1I hate Yuppies. I’ve always hated Yuppies. Grew up in a suburb known for its Yuppies. Yuppies have bred. Their spawn can be seen everywhere but they have their own sub-categories because, well – you know – they are just so damn special.

There is special dictionary, online; I love the site. It deals with the idioms not found in “proper” dictionaries. Like this one:

Pronunciation (YUH-pee)
Synonyms: asshole, Bobo (burgeois bohemian), metrosexual, suburbanite, 
Acronym for Young Urban Professional – typically a person who wants you to believe that they are superior to you due to their high-paying corporate job and social status. Activities include frequent purchases of expensive fuel-INefficient vehicles, extravagant clothing and jewelry, and anything that “elevates” them to a higher social standing.

Behavioral traits include intense arrogance, unhealthy preoccupation/obsession with the safety of their spawn, meeting with personal trainers, immeasurable selfishness, and constant obliviousness to anyone who does not have the same or greater “social status”. Free thought is not allowed as it disrupts the balance of their world.

Habitat is restricted to excessively large, poorly-built houses (McMansions) which are frequently gated in to form a yuppie compound, typically called a subdivision or gated community. The compound is governed by a small group of fascists operating under the moniker of a neighborhood association. The compound is erected to provide the ILLUSION of a safe and secure environment for the yuppies to raise their spawn.

Yuppie religion is restricted to the Cult of the Dollar.

The yuppie is the scourge of the free-thinking world.

Yuppies and their spawn ARE a scourge. Their thinking spreads like a rotting disease of the brain. The first thing to go is common courtesy and tolerance; it rots and falls off.

In real life, I do my utmost to avoid Yuppies and their little replicates. My guideline for life is to find something positive, regardless of the negativity of any experience that happens my way but I do have to admit, finding something positive in being exposed to Yuppies was a tough nut to crack. The best I can come up with would be:

“Yuppies are an example of what happens when genes mutate. Eat your vegetables.”

On Facebook recently, I was taken aback by someone bitching about roofers starting work at 6:30 am. In the middle of a heat wave. I was a little shocked at the comment. I did not think that this person could be so thoughtless.

It sparked a debate that causes my stomach to roil, even now, days later.

During this heat wave, that our noon day sun and humidity levels were heating up to 40 deg. Celsius is of no consequence. It was 6:30. (Note: Just had my roof done and the noise is hardly something to whine about.)
The necessity of starting early, for safety reasons, is again, of no consequence.

One commenter, a real contender for the Darwin Award, opined and I must paraphrase as I have no desire to quote a person RUMOURED to be human, (she made me feel as if I needed a species change), “Nobody forced these people to be roofers.” She wasn’t finished; “If anyone had the nerve to create noise before 8:00 am, she would shoot them with a BB gun because, SHE HAD 4 KIDS!!”

Yeah? Well, nobody forced her to have 4 kids. I shudder to think what those kids are like…do they mirror their mother’s shallow, self-absorbed mindset? Are they Yuppie Spawn? She went on but the gist is so appalling that repeating it does the world no good, at all.

Nope, nobody told these people to be roofers. After all, everyone has the advantage of finishing school and going on to university. Everyone has Yuppie parents who view them as reflections of their own worth. Nobody is forced to such low levels of society. Tradesmen? Pffff, not worthy of sharing this woman’s space, apparently. In her self-contained little world, she obviously has not heard of the new societal tidal wave called “Boomerang kids”. Yuppie spawn who can’t wrap their heads around having to work for a living. Perhaps, taking 2 jobs because 1 won’t cut it. Perhaps actually having to SAVE money by eschewing the IPhone 5 and Starbucks. Not shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch or Gap. Living within their means.

It would be really interesting to see what happens to this woman’s offspring in the coming years. I hope she keeps their bedrooms clean for them, because I lay my money on them returning and quickly.

Tolerance folks. It is a universal concept. Personally? I don’t like children. I don’t like listening to them shriek, cry and generally be pains in the ass but I live in the suburbs. Kids are a rather unpleasant by-product of the area. I had 3 of my own. I liked them. I don’t like other people’s children but I do tolerate them. My husband is up, every morning at 2:00 am, for his lowly job. He isn’t laptop carrying buttsniffer. He’s a truck driver. He brings these Yuppies absolutely EVERYTHING in their lives. Without him? Nobody eats, nobody drinks, nobody has clothes, furniture or homes. So kids running around screaming at 8:30 in the morning is not exactly a picnic for him but he tolerates it. He finds ways to nullify their caterwauling. I’m up at 5:00 am. I go to bed early. Same deal. I tolerate and find ways to cope.

Shopping is always an exercise in self-control. Some kid is always crying somewhere in the store. Then there are the snotty noses or the picking of noses (a habit I find, particularly, disgusting). Restaurants? Yuppies and pseudo-Yuppies who feel that they have every right to ruin your meal by bringing a squalling infant to the establishment are always a real treat, but unfortunately, not a rare one. It happens. Hubby and I tolerate it. Although we do discuss new and innovative uses for deep fat fryers.

We all live in close confines these days. Tolerance is not only a survival skill but a measure of your intellect and your humanity. It can be, successfully, taught to the spawn but Mommy and Daddy have to learn the concept first.


Filed under Whatnot

5 responses to “Tolerance, Pseudo-Yuppies and their Spawn

  1. Can I just applaud? Did you see James’s comment on my post the other day (I was having a dig at people who were complaining about the heat, but have AC) …….”My comment has and always will be. You want to complain about the heat. Come join me on the roof, while I fix your broken a/c or install your new one.”


    • Same over here; Logan and Kyle. My brother does the industrial and commercial. The stories of arrogance they can tell..just makes me want to mount that watchtower. Or dig up Darwin and smack him around some.

  2. Colleen

    Hey… I’m with you 100%. Marc started work this week at 6am due to the heat. 8am for work related noise is NOT a problem.. it’s actually legal too. Around here the by-law says after 7am it’s all good.

    Roofing is a dangerous job at the best of times, in this heat it’s doubly dangerous. That woman needs a serious reality check.

  3. I’m the kid of person that has cold water to offer the workers if they are working in that kind of heat around me…

    My quip would be that they don’t have to live in a nice warm house/apartment. they could go live in a cave or hut somewhere in the northern wilds and not have to worry about any noise to disturb their precious sleep at 6am.

  4. kid = kind
    *facepalm* I need to proofread comments better

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