Being perfect seems to be beyond my capacity; I guess I missed the class and the memo because I’m not perfect, not by a long shot. Apparently though, so many people are just THAT great and a bag of chips on the side.
A friend of mine wrote a blog that fit in so absolutely perfectly with what is swirling around the lives of my family right now, that I could swear she’s taken a page from the United States government and has been hacking my e-mails and in fact, bugging my home. http://chovblog.blogspot.ca/2013/07/look-reallythis-getting-along-with-one.html ; is the link to her blog. It is far nicer than mine will be and that, I can promise you.
Personally, my own life has been filled with monumental mistakes with long term consequences. I can’t regret the mistakes, they were made and I have to live with them. And no, I will not share them – they are nobody’s business but mine own. The best I can do, because they will never be rectified, is to learn from them, try to find a way to use them toward personal growth and to never screw up like that again.
It is so damn easy to lay blame elsewhere but it isn’t only easy – it’s lame. It’s cowardly. It’s goddam dishonest. Nobody forces us into making bad choices – that is totally, completely, forever and ever, amen – on us. Period.
We’ve made our choices; we can live with them if they are positive choices or we can find a way to use the bad examples as a way toward growing. Growing emotionally, growing financially or hey, growing spiritually, if that’s your deal. What we cannot do, is blame others. What is absolutely unacceptable is to scapegoat another human being because, gee whiz…we didn’t have their advantages. We didn’t make the same choices. No. You didn’t. Suck it up, buttercups and try to learn from your behaviour so that you don’t make the same mistake, over and over again.
I’m older. I’m wiser than I was at 25. Wiser than I was at 30, 40 and 50. Things ARE clearer now. One of the things clear to me, is that precious few people will read this and take something away that they can use. Not my business, not my problem. This blog is simply to excise a few real frustrations and vent some very damaging anger that I am holding in, currently.
Truly, one of the most destructive and insidious emotions is jealousy. It roots itself and is chameleon-like. It is dark, dank and reeking. The seeds are there in everyone, without exception. The trick of it is not to give it the nutriments it needs to root and grow. Okay, so your family wasn’t rich. Okay, so you don’t own a new car, a home or take vacations “away”, big deal. Does this give you some sort of license to criticize those who may be so fortunate? Not in your wildest imaginings.
We don’t own a new car, we do own a house and we’ve taken a total of 2 vacations “away” in 30 years of marriage. One of those vacations was a delayed honeymoon. You see, we were married on a Saturday, we had two children and my husband had to be at work on Monday morning. Our choice. We could have both taken a traditional route in our lives but we didn’t. Instead, we worked with what we had and made it good.
My husband worked 3 jobs at one point, in order for us to have what we needed. We couldn’t afford “want” but we could afford “need” which is more than a vast majority of the world is permitted.
We have choices, living here in the Western world. We CHOOSE our paths. For good or for ill. Our choice. We don’t have the right to snipe at the vulnerable. We don’t have the right to be emotional bullies because we are ashamed of ourselves and jealousy has been allowed to flourish in our souls.
Stop bitching, stop gossiping and do something positive. Walk away from negative people, destructive conversations. You make your choices and you have only one person to blame or praise as a result of those choices. Yourself. Of course, you can continue to blame the world, blame your parents, blame society but that’s simply not the case. It is not the truth. You lie to yourself and everyone else. But the thing is? Everyone listening knows it is a lie so why bother?
When you gossip about someone else, when you repeat ugly things, you darken your own sphere. When you listen to gossip, give it life. You allow it to continue. Repeat the gossip? And you are as low as the person from whom you garnered it. Newton taught us that for every action there is a reaction. You may want to keep this in mind when your flapping your gums. Gossips don’t care who they gossip about, just so long as they have gossip. If they are talking about someone else – they will and do, talk about you as well.