(RIP Peter Steele)


Boy, does this word ever cause a lot of trouble. I’ve never understood the reasoning myself – I mean, we all indulge in it. It’s like ice cream – yummers and so many, many flavours!! There are those that claim lactose intolerance…yeah, sure. Human beings have particular drives – we hunger, we thirst, we evacuate what our bodies don’t require and we need sex. If we don’t indulge this absolute drive in real life, then it manifests in dreams. I don’t care who you think you are, you aren’t above a basic human drive.

Some like their ice cream, strictly vanilla, in a plain bowl. Others like it in a cone, some like waffle cones, some like a double scoop and there are others who like it piled as high as possible, in every flavour available. One isn’t better than the other, just different tastes and preferences. What is the big deal?

Religion. That’s where the big deal originates. Religion doesn’t want you to have fun. Religion is not a normal human drive. It has its foundations in an unhealthy psyche. Oedipus? Type O Negative nails it in their song, Christian Woman. Not all religious folks have the Oedipal complex though; some are just terrified and some are just freaking arrogant – THEY know what lies beyond, THEY know what is good for you and if you know what’s good for you, you will abide by THEM!!! Christianity, Orthodox Judaism and the fundamental Muslims – they all know what’s best for YOU! THEY know god.

Actually, no – they do not. They lie. Probably not intentionally – they’re just afraid to live life according personal responsibility. They like to be told what to do. Kind of like BDSM – they need to be collared. What they do not understand is that regardless of who they have chosen to collar them – they hold the ultimate control. Blaming the devil, blaming evil, blaming others just doesn’t wash. It is easy to blame someone else; every two year old knows this and employs the tactic. Some folks just never truly leave toddlerhood.

I’ve been told that the devil has me fooled – Satan is actually in control. Well, let’s see – if Satan wants me to work hard, love my family, not steal, not hurt anyone else, intentionally – then goddam it – I’m a Satanist to the end. But no. I’m not. I don’t believe anyone; anyTHING controls my life, my thoughts, my actions, my fate or my destiny. That’s on me. Massive responsibility. It can be terrifying but it is exhilarating as well. THIS, THIS IS MY LIFE! I am in the driver’s seat. I am the Master. I am the Domme. It is all on me.

It may seem that I’ve digressed; not really. It is important, as far as I’m concerned, that we all understand where the responsibility lies in our approach to sex. PERSONAL responsibility. It doesn’t matter, not one bit, what flavour or flavours turn your crank; that’s entirely your choice but your choice has to be a responsible one. Nothing you choose should cause harm to anyone. If you share your choice or choices? Then the other person must be able to decide whether or not your flavour is something they can share. So obviously, this excludes anyone who may have the judgement impaired by booze or drugs. This excludes children (ya sick fuck) or animals (you need to be locked up).

Hiding sex and preferences is the norm. Religion has done this to us. Are you embarrassed to admit to eating? Are you embarrassed to admit that you are thirsty? We all excuse ourselves to use the bathroom. Normal but to discuss anything to do with sex causes red faces, stammering, outrage…and in some countries? Death. Makes absolutely no sense to me, at all. Not a bit.

Did my parents have sex? Of course they did. Did they enjoy it? Probably. Do my sons? Without a doubt. Randy trio, those three. Did it ever bother me? No. The only thing that ever concerned me was that they were indulging in this normal drive responsibly and did not behave in such as manner as to put someone else’s wellbeing at risk. My granddaughter will have sex. Her children, should she have any, will have sex. Was/is their personal flavour choice any of my business? Absolutely not. Not my business, in any way, shape or form. I raised these boys – their ethics and morals are influenced, somewhat by me but the ultimate responsibility is on them.

Rape is a choice. It is a personal choice to rape. The blame is totally and completely on the rapist. Scenario that happens all too often – young girl, drinks too much as young people are prone to do – is raped. If a girl is under the influence of alcohol, then she has lost her ability to choose. To have sex with her is rape. Young men, you choose your behaviour and don’t tell me it’s because you were drinking too. I’ve been drunk as a lord, I’ve been so stoned, Dr. Timothy Leary would have been impressed and never, EVER, did I have sex with someone who did not have enough consciousness to choose. So take that excuse and stick it where the sun don’t shine. Rape is easy to describe – the individual did not make a cognizant choice. If you know the individual – then you are more than aware of their ability to choose. If you don’t know the individual, zip up your fly and grow up.

Date rape. The word “No” has no grey area to it. “No” is the most clear of negatives. It isn’t “maybe”, it isn’t “possibly” – it is “NO”.

It is my belief that if we removed the stigma attached to sex by religion, it would go a long way toward fighting rape, in all its guises and glamours. Sex isn’t wrong. Sex is fabulous. It is the best stress reliever known to man and womankind. It is exercise. It can develop creativity and in those so inclined, flexibility. There is nothing wrong with it. It is the perfect activity WHEN both or all parties are willing participants, when all parties have made their OWN personal choice.

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