Sibling Rivalry; Part Deux (or Duh)

SiblingRivalryApparently, this topic strikes a lot of chords; I’ve received a bunch of e-mails on the topic.  Most of the folks didn’t want to leave a public comment in case the subject of their e-mail happened upon their words.  Very sad.

I believe, and this is just me; one of the biggest obstacles is this perception that because the same DNA courses through the veins, that siblings MUST like each other because anything less is totally unacceptable and approaches self-loathing.  Nah.

We are all individuals, shared DNA doesn’t mean shared personalities, shared fears, shared likes and dislikes.  It is only a physiological result of two individuals mating.  What goes on between the ears, in the brain, is as individual as fingerprints.  We form our own hypotheses based on how thoughts are processed in that machine that manufacturers individuality – our brains.  We love, we hate based on what goes on up there.  We can change the finished product if we wish to do so but a lot of folks would rather walk about believing in their own righteousness.

Communication can be the key for some but not all. Blood relations do not negate the very real possibility that your sister, your cousin, your brother, your parent is an all around miserable example of evolution.  It happens.  Every criminal, dictator or shithead, has family. Ghengis Khan had parents, siblings – Adolf Hitler had family that presumably loved him.  Stalin, same deal – someone procreated and he was born.  These are extreme examples of humanity’s worst but the point is, simply because someone is related, does not necessarily mean that you MUST always agree.  YOU MUST ALWAYS BE LOVING…nope.  Your brother, your sister, your cousins are individuals and have the same rights of interpretation as do you.

We try to get along, we try to be accommodating but sometimes, that just isn’t possible.  You didn’t do anything wrong, it is just how the family ball bounces.   So you try to communicate, to understand the other viewpoint but it does take both parties.  If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work – move on and don’t let it interfere with your life.  Its a gift, don’t let anyone shit on it because they think they have that privilege by way of DNA – they don’t.

3 Comments

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3 responses to “Sibling Rivalry; Part Deux (or Duh)

  1. I’ve had to move on recently. As far as I’m concerned I no longer have a sister. Her anger stems from many moons ago. I never realized how strong it was until this last March. The fight was bad….real bad. Honestly, if it weren’t for the intervention of others, I think she would have strangled me. So, when you say if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work…I know exactly what that means. Oddly enough, I feel…relief. Not quite the right word, but close.

    • Its tough when this kind of relationship goes south; you know its coming and you feel like you are always walking on eggs. The confusion of wanting to fix things but not knowing how to do it. Sighh. It happens in the “best” of families. All anyone can hope for is a polite detente, I guess. Sometimes there is no sugar sweet Movie Of The Week ending – sometimes it is more akin to a Rob Zombie flick. That’s life though – you can’t fix the emotions in someone else’s brain.

      • Exactly…it was always walking on egg shells around her, not knowing what her mood or reaction might be. As hard as it is for the family, it a weight off my shoulders to have it out in the open even if the results were way less than desirable.

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