Camel Toe

camel toeHave your attention, do I? Good. This blog is a reaction to a blog written by a friend. It is about sex. Society, rape, sex and gender.

Sex is great. More fun than a barrel of drunken monkeys. It is a blast, it is the greatest of enjoyments, relieves stress, burns calories, creates a bond and is just THE perfect activity. But and you had to know the “but” was coming (don’t read puns where none are intended, grow up); sex is also the most powerful weapon used by one gender against another. Everything has a dark side.

Men rape but is it sex? No. It is a crime. It is taking something without permission, it is assault, it is pain to the victim, and it is a lifetime of trauma. It is against the law. Nothing sexual about it. Psychiatrists and psychologists tell us that rape is about power. Okay. That would be a no brainer to most of us and simply isn’t enough explanation. Why is this kind of crime interpreted as a tool toward personal power? Where did we screw up in our evolutionary progress, our civilizing of society?

We know when men feel powerless, the chances of them becoming a rapist is increased. Powerless. We all feel powerless and with good reason. Our personal power has been removed or rather the personal power to which we feel entitled. Who removed it? Institutions. Schools, government, employers and the world at large. Did we ever really have this personal power? No, actually, we have not. We are just led to believe that we are all that and a bag of chips. This then translates into a feeling of impotence by all people. Men react in the physical way and rape. Women? They will beat children, become addicted to substances in order to allay the feeling of being helpless.

There are, of course, mental illnesses, psychotic personalities that manifest in sadistic behaviours – these are special cases, the Bundys, the Dahmers, the Bernardos and Homolkas out there. These people are not indicative of all rapists.

The young men in Steubenville. I don’t believe they are psychotic animals as are the aforementioned. I believe they behaved as animals because this was permitted by the people in authority. They were permitted to believe that they may have what they wished to have because they were heroes.

The messages sent to these young men, messages received and processed, obviously, is that laws are not applicable to all. It wasn’t just their twisted little town that sent these messages; the messages are everywhere. If you have a talent, you are special and therefore above the norms of society.

Women don’t help. The messages sent by them are mixed and reinforce the message that women are sexual items, to be possessed or taken by the strongest, the most fit, the one with the best cheek bones. Some of this is pre-programmed by nature – the most desirable characteristics required for perpetuating the species but as we are aware of this pre-programming, it is entirely possible to de-program it as well.

Look around at the ads for women, for girls and tell me something isn’t horribly amiss. The clothing, for the most part, is designed to accentuate the body in its most sexual aspect. Some of the items can actually damage the body – stiletto heels for example. These torture devices are totally impractical for anything other than displaying the female form as sexual and in doing so, cause irreparable damage to the feet, knees, hips and back.

The current trend of wearing tights as outside clothing, not practical and can be downright gross. The camel toe effect. It’s like seeing a female baboon display herself. It is simply tacky and tells everyone that this young women (I am trying not to recall the older women I’ve seen) is a sexual object and is advertising it in the most obvious of manners.

We are not our sex. We can’t tell men that we are not objects when this is exactly how we present ourselves. Responsibility lies on both fronts and this is probably a very contentious and controversial point of view but in many circumstances, females as well as males need to step up, understand the importance of messages and stop blaming each other when those messages go awry.

4 Comments

Filed under Whatnot

4 responses to “Camel Toe

  1. You are right you have voiced a very contentious and controversial point of view. I can see how females parading around showing off their sex in the most obvious of ways can be seen as a message that they wish to be seen as sexually attractive. But I believe they are doing it to be VIEWED as sexually desirable. Being viewed as something, giving an impression of something is still not asking for their choice to be taken forcefully from them in regards to who they CHOOSE to partner with for sexual intercourse. They wish to be VIEWED as sexually desirable so that they can CHOOSE whom they wish to partake in sexual activities with.

    • The problem is that we cannot choose who views us and often, young women display anger when attention is given by someone who is not their “type.” We have a responsibility to ourselves to grow up and understand that the world is not a nice place; we need to ensure that we protect ourselves and not give out the message that we are objects to be coveted by the most desirable male. The latter is primate behaviour.

    • A Susan B. Anthony quote comes to mind; it is tragic that these words seem to have been forgotten in the race for cropped T-shirts and leopard patterned thongs.

      Woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself.

      Susan B. Anthony (1820 – 1906)

  2. Paula

    Well said, Luv.

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