I am not a Feminist. I am an Equalist, a Humanist. I was a Feminist back when it didn’t mean that a prerequisite was a hatred of men. I was a Feminist back when the movement meant equality, not superiority. I took speeches to heart and worked toward being an equal, through work, through dialogue. I worked toward being able to make my own choices in life and while I may hate the concept of abortion, I’ll be damned if I allow someone to take that choice away from another human being. I exercised my right to vote. I worked toward removing sexism in a male dominated workplace and surprise, with dialogue, there was a measure of success. I am not so naïve as to think that this success extended beyond the exit door but every little step was progress. True change takes time.
I am sick to death of seeing the word “misogyny” tossed about at the drop of a hat. Misogyny is a horrible state of mind. Misogyny is a hatred of women. It isn’t an off-colour comment, it isn’t a stupid blonde or wife joke. Misogyny is characterized, as a general rule of thumb, by actions or words that express actual hatred. Tossing it about willy-nilly as it is right now, lessens the true meaning of the word. A rapist is a misogynist. A man beating his wife or significant female other is a misogynist. A man making some comment about a woman’s boobs is not a misogynist – he may be socially backward but he isn’t a misogynist.
It appears to me and I may be wrong but it does appear that the Feminist movement has been taken over by a bunch of women with a totally over-inflated sense of entitlement, the opinion that because they have a vagina they can say or do what they want with no repercussions. We all have responsibilities based on our genders. There are predators out there – women as well as men and we all need to be aware of this. We need to teach our youngsters that gender is no protection from predators.
At this point in our human history, we should be above using colour, religion, culture or gender as excuses or as condemnations.
There is no such thing as “boys will be boys”. This is simply a way to justify inept parenting. “Girls will be girls” is equally as inexcusable. I have seen some appalling behaviour by girls against other girls and against boys. I have seen appalling behaviour by boys against other boys and against girls. The one thing both instances have in common would be boys and girls coming from families where there is inadequate or just downright bad parenting.
Misandry (How many people are familiar with the definition of the word “misandry” as opposed to being familiar with the popular and incorrect definition of misogyny? Rhetorical – very few would be the answer.) has become socially acceptable, in fact, if you take a college level Women’s Studies course? It is TAUGHT.
We do have to teach our sons to behave. We do have to reinforce this with stronger penalties for violence, all violence. We need to demand justice for the victims of child abuse, whether perpetrated by men or women. If we do not educate our children, then we are doomed to repeat the appalling behaviours being reported in the media, almost on a daily basis.
There is no room for misogyny or misandry anymore. Both states of mind are the sign of a sick and ignorant mind, a mental disturbance. A penis or a vagina does not dictate the morals, the ethics or humanity of an individual. It is time to stop diminishing each other with generalized stereotypes and I don’t care if these generalizations are taught by some pseudo-educator or gender based group. We need to see each other as human beings – different but human. It is time to call Feminists on their perpetrating of myths about men, just as it is time to call out menfolk when they participate in the same demeaning behaviours toward women.
Grow the hell up – take responsibility for your own life and stop blaming someone else for your problems.