Misandry and Misogyny

misandryI am not a Feminist. I am an Equalist, a Humanist. I was a Feminist back when it didn’t mean that a prerequisite was a hatred of men. I was a Feminist back when the movement meant equality, not superiority. I took speeches to heart and worked toward being an equal, through work, through dialogue. I worked toward being able to make my own choices in life and while I may hate the concept of abortion, I’ll be damned if I allow someone to take that choice away from another human being. I exercised my right to vote. I worked toward removing sexism in a male dominated workplace and surprise, with dialogue, there was a measure of success. I am not so naïve as to think that this success extended beyond the exit door but every little step was progress. True change takes time.

I am sick to death of seeing the word “misogyny” tossed about at the drop of a hat. Misogyny is a horrible state of mind. Misogyny is a hatred of women. It isn’t an off-colour comment, it isn’t a stupid blonde or wife joke. Misogyny is characterized, as a general rule of thumb, by actions or words that express actual hatred. Tossing it about willy-nilly as it is right now, lessens the true meaning of the word. A rapist is a misogynist. A man beating his wife or significant female other is a misogynist. A man making some comment about a woman’s boobs is not a misogynist – he may be socially backward but he isn’t a misogynist.

It appears to me and I may be wrong but it does appear that the Feminist movement has been taken over by a bunch of women with a totally over-inflated sense of entitlement, the opinion that because they have a vagina they can say or do what they want with no repercussions. We all have responsibilities based on our genders. There are predators out there – women as well as men and we all need to be aware of this. We need to teach our youngsters that gender is no protection from predators.

At this point in our human history, we should be above using colour, religion, culture or gender as excuses or as condemnations.

There is no such thing as “boys will be boys”. This is simply a way to justify inept parenting. “Girls will be girls” is equally as inexcusable. I have seen some appalling behaviour by girls against other girls and against boys. I have seen appalling behaviour by boys against other boys and against girls. The one thing both instances have in common would be boys and girls coming from families where there is inadequate or just downright bad parenting.

Misandry (How many people are familiar with the definition of the word “misandry” as opposed to being familiar with the popular and incorrect definition of misogyny? Rhetorical – very few would be the answer.) has become socially acceptable, in fact, if you take a college level Women’s Studies course? It is TAUGHT.

We do have to teach our sons to behave. We do have to reinforce this with stronger penalties for violence, all violence. We need to demand justice for the victims of child abuse, whether perpetrated by men or women. If we do not educate our children, then we are doomed to repeat the appalling behaviours being reported in the media, almost on a daily basis.

There is no room for misogyny or misandry anymore. Both states of mind are the sign of a sick and ignorant mind, a mental disturbance. A penis or a vagina does not dictate the morals, the ethics or humanity of an individual. It is time to stop diminishing each other with generalized stereotypes and I don’t care if these generalizations are taught by some pseudo-educator or gender based group. We need to see each other as human beings – different but human. It is time to call Feminists on their perpetrating of myths about men, just as it is time to call out menfolk when they participate in the same demeaning behaviours toward women.

Grow the hell up – take responsibility for your own life and stop blaming someone else for your problems.

3 Comments

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3 responses to “Misandry and Misogyny

  1. That’s one way of looking at it, and while I don’t really disagree in principle, I think I approached it from another route. I started out thinking that feminism was extremist, that it involved man-hating, that it did women more harm than good, and was then won over.

    I wonder just how much of our beginning experiences were affected by our own situations. I was raised by a widow, no man in the house once my grandfather died, I was used to women doing all practical things. I went to an all-girl school, which in hindsight was lacking in many areas because of the absence of male students, but what you’ve never had you don’t miss, so at the time I wasn’t aware of its shortcomings in that way. I was a very confident young woman, and on the two occasions when men attempted to “take advantage” of me, I fought and hurt them. I worked in government jobs where equality was already mandated. I then did the impossible thing of marrying well at 18. I had absolutely no time for feminism at all, because I’d never needed it.

    Then, I had my earthmother years “barefoot and pregnant”, which I thoroughly enjoyed, and during this time I met a number of women trying to tell me that I was suffering in some way, which I wasn’t. My opinion of feminism got lower, and lower, and by the time I got online I was militantly opposed to it.

    But then I met another face of it, which sought only equality, and pointed out to me just how little I knew about the realities of the situation. I had never actually faced real gender bias, and the one aspect of inequality I had actually been harmed by (in education) I had been unaware of, and I felt DUPED! That’s a whole missive in itself, because I’ve had that argument a fair few times over the years, but briefly, I got a second-rate education because I was a girl. This is still true of most women in the world.

    So, I think what is really needed is new words. I once heard the folowing “Feminism is the radical idea that women are people too”. If we can’t reclaim the word, so that it means that, then by all means, let’s call it Equalism, and go with that. But let’s not pretend that the battle is won.

  2. No, the “battle” is not won but we also have to take a good look at the face of the enemy; some of them are feminine. Why is not acceptable to choose to be a full time homemaker? I don’t know about you, but during the relatively short time that I took on that role – the derisive comments I received regarding this choice were, primarily, from women. Apparently, as women, we have the right to choose our paths in life, as long as it agrees with the current agenda.

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