Expectations Are Too High

Great_Expectations_by_Charles_DickensA long time ago, my boss told me that my expectations of people were too high. I was gob-smacked. Too high? Are expectations too high when you expect someone to do the job for which they are paid? Apparently…the answer to that is “Yes, it is expecting too much.”

Is it expecting too much for people to behave with common courtesy and to use common sense; again, it appears that the answer is an affirmative – it is expecting far too much.

In following through on my personal exercise with the Major Arcana, I indulged in some very necessary soul searching last night. After a massive disappointment and a very deep hurt, I took a long, long walk and did some heavy duty thinking. The message that I should have gleaned from that exercise? I seemed to have missed. The message was very clear but it appears I needed a good slap upside the head to see it clearly.

Yes, I do expect too much from people and when they fall short, I get angry and I get hurt. My own doing. It’s all on me.

The life journey is a unique one and even someone of your bloodline has their own lessons to learn, their own path to follow and there is diddly squat that can be done to change the direction. You have a better chance of being heard, whispering in a riot. So, the question needs to be asked – who am I to try to interfere with the life trip of someone else, even family? What right do I have?

None, when you get right down to it. It is not for me to offer an opinion, it is not for me to lay out truths and consequences – these are all things that will be revealed (possibly) to the life tripper.

Lesson learned, class dismissed for a brief recess – smoke ’em, if you got ’em.

In the future, even when asked, I will defer to the psychology method favoured by those mind jockeys out there; I will simply turn the question around and allow the individual to make their own choice – their own decision – pilot their own vessel. The truths and the lies will be their own cargo.

Don’t ask me my opinion and we will save each other a lot of grief and heartache in the future. There will be no need for lies (a cardinal sin in my book of life), there will be no need for hypocrisies, and there will be no need for hurt and heart pain. You will walk your path and I’ll walk mine; if those paths intersect and we have the opportunity to sit down, grab a laugh and some non-consequential discussion? Great, if not – life is like that.

Take a look at the cards and you will see what I mean; it is a universal message for all of us. You have your life and I have mine. You have battles to wage and I’ve already waged mine, I don’t choose to re-enlist.

We all have our own priorities. I have mine and every single soul on this earth has theirs. It is not their place to determine what is and what is not important in my life and it is not my place to determine what is and what is not important in their lives.

We need to concentrate on “self” and get through this life knowing we have done what we were to do, learned what we needed to learn and then, when the bucket requires kicking, see what – if anything – lies ahead for us.

3 Comments

Filed under Whatnot

3 responses to “Expectations Are Too High

  1. I feel the same frustration you do! Very recently a friend told me I was controlling. It was a shock to hear but over the next few days I analyzed myself and found it’s true. And the more I expected people to do things they way I wanted, the more disappointed and hurt I got. I’m trying to change that part of myself and already I feel a weight being lifted. Concentrating on ourselves instead of others is a big challenge we all need to work on.

    • I’ve had this discussion with a few of my “buds” over the years and this is, by and large, a female trait. We go that extra mile because we are conditioned to do so; we are conditioned to be “nice”, more so than are the menfolk. In being so indoctrinated, we end up shooting ourselves in the foot – far too often. Accepting behaviour that is really unacceptable but instead of walking away? We try to fix people, we try to empathize, we try to nurture when really? It isn’t our responsibility.

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