Ashamed to admit – I had a monumental meltdown at work on Thursday. It was horrific. I lost control. I yelled, swore and slammed out of the building. I have not melted down like that in years. The culprit? Me. I have allowed stress to build up, build up until the inevitable happened and I exploded. It was a proverbial straw – someone who had screwed up and then lied about it. Something very common in an office environment and something, as a general rule, I am – sadly – used to seeing but for some reason, it was just one thing too much on Thursday.
I don’t deny when I screw up and I guess, I hope others will own up to their boo-boos as well. Hey, it’s a pie in the sky dream but mine own.
Looking at ways to deal with stress has been fruitless thus far – I’ve read the books, the articles, watched the videos and they all come across like crap to me. Obviously, considering Thursday – they don’t work. Oh, they may be all right for little stressors, like not finding a parking spot in front of the store entrance but for real life stressors – the stressors faced by most people these days, taking a walk isn’t going to cut it. Increasing fiber in the diet ain’t going to help either. No. Complete lifestyle change would do it but who can afford to do that? I know we can’t. I’d love to pick up and move, but to where? Subsistence agriculture? I would starve to death – I can’t grow things to, no pun intended, save my life. I would still need water, electricity and the ability to buy an aspirin when I need it.
When days are particularly bad, I’ll come home and play a computer game that involves blowing up little bubbles. This helps but it only serves to drive the stress underground or so I’ve learned.
I think politesse has a lot to do with this. We are raised, as women, (primarily, this is a female constraint) to be oh-so-polite and oh-so-nice, meanwhile our male counterparts can blow off steam and be seen as a MAN’S MAN whereas when a woman speaks her mind – she’s a bitch.
Perhaps it is time to throw off the vestiges of female subjugation and brainwashing – let a few of the people who are adding nothing but stress to my life, that is time for them to go. Buzz off – haunt some other woman’s house and leave my life to peace.