Jesus isn’t welcome in America

This one is tongue in cheek.

Unless you live under a rock, you are aware of the undercurrents of racism in the Western world.  There is one group that feels immigration of Africans, of Middle Eastern peoples and Asian should be halted. Apparently, there is some sort of diabolical agenda by the NWO, or whatever boogieman is popular these days, to wipe out the white race by assimilating them with people of darker hues.  Somewhere, there is a secret council that wants us all to be the colour of butterscotch or caramel.

And so, all immigration of non-Caucasians should be halted, forthwith, immediately – right, the fuck now!

This may create a bit of a conundrum – most, if not all, of these racist conspiracy theorists call themselves “Christians.”  God fearin’ Christians.  In their shoes?  I’d be a’fearin’ god as well…

You see, according to the bible, man was created in their god’s image.  Well, that would mean – according to anthropological studies of the early civilizations, if man was a little carbon copy of god?  Then god is a little tiny brown man.  And his son?  Also a little, tiny brown man, of the Jewish faith.  The picture to the left is a forensic artist’s interpretation based on the skull and known facial features of that area of the world, during the time that Jesus was reputed to have lived.

So, what do you do if there is a second coming of this messiah – this Jesus fellow?  Tell him, “Gee Jesus, so sorry – you can’t come in.  This country is for white folk only and you ain’t white folk.”  Or perhaps offer him some sort of special dispensation as long as he promises not to breed with a white woman…or live in a white neighbourhood, or drink from a “white” water fountain.

Jesus would have looked an awful lot like Mohammed.  He would be closer, genetically, to the Islamic prophet than he would have been to any of those “white” folk, away up north.

Jesus would not have looked like Ted Neely or Willem Dafoe.   Definitely wouldn’t have looked like Max von Sydow or Victor Garber.   Anthropologists figure he would have been no more than 5 ft. 1 and maybe 100 lbs. soaking wet.  He would have had darker skin and hair.  A prominent nose and dark eyes.  He would have more closely resembled Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) than Jim Caviezel (Passion of the Christ).  Too dark for America.  Too “foreign” for America.

What if the second coming Jesus was traveling with friends?  What if Moses and Abraham came along for the trip?  My, my…that would present a problem to an “all white” country, now wouldn’t it?  Sure would be an awful lot of white faces gone red in that event.  Hopefully, someone will think to catch it on their cell and upload to YouTube – it would go viral.

1 Comment

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One response to “Jesus isn’t welcome in America

  1. Shanna

    Hmm… A short brown man shows up, probably doesn’t speak English, and tells people to sell their assets and give them to the poor? Tells them to leave their homes to tend to the sick and needy? To care for widows (or single moms) and orphans? To be kind to each other? He’ll be branded as the Antichrist. He’ll be labelled a traitor and/or a terrorist and locked away or put to death.

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