(The following post was simply too good not to share; it was written by a friend of mine who has given her permission for me to re-post.)
I work in a female dominated industry and so am “mom” to a lot of young women. I am constantly working with and attempting to change the brains, the psychology, the mindset of young women in my eating disorder group as you know. Every day I am reminded there are a lot of women out there in pain.
There are days when my heart has hurt just once too often for all the women in pain. Sometimes I feel bruised and defeated and in those days I have to go away for a bit and regroup and reground to get back out into the good fight.
There are days when I have to question; why is humanity so intent on annihilating the contingent of our species who are almost 75% responsible for ensuring we endure and survive as a species?
That gender which breeds and nurtures and provides a continuation of civilizations and the human race itself, is constantly, generation after generation, century after century constantly, under attack.
It would seem to me that in order to ensure success as a species, to ensure a success of civilization and civility we would want that gender to succeed. We would want to protect and encourage and nurture women.
And when I say “we” I mean all of “we”
It is not just men, although historically men as a gender have done their damnedest to ensure the failure and defeat of women through their churches, their religions, their value systems, their created societies and social structures. Through their rapes and beatings and through their justice systems.
But women themselves must take on their own fair share of blame.
We attempt to limit our gender with gossip and expectations and values and rules.
Women expect other women to be a size 2, and to be 20 years old and to dress a certain fashion.
Blond is very, very good. Maybe. Depends on the year. A blond can also be very, very dumb.
Curly hair is unattractive. Red curly hair is just really crazy.
It is women who demand women breast feed or she is not such a good mother. A stay at home mother is a better mother. A working mother is not a plugged in to her children mother. A women with six children is socially irresponsible, a women with no children or only one child is lazy or selfish.
A sexually experienced woman is a slut. A virgin is frigid.
A prostitute is worthy of shunning, a nurse is of higher moral value.
It is women who allow a knife to carve into their bodies and cut skin and lift their faces. Their faces!!! Cut in and lift their entire faces….because it is so much better to be a youthful woman.
Women carve into their bodies and cut out pieces of their breasts, or have foreign elements put under their breasts so they will have bigger breasts.
We suck out our fat. We cut off pieces of our stomach.
We starve ourselves. Literally, we starve ourselves.
We starve our bodies and our minds and our spirits.
As a society we allow our women to be beaten our little girls to be raped without adequate compensation of justice.
There are parts of the world who use women as a tool of war by enforcing rape, enforcing brutality and enslavement.
As a species we do not nurture women. We barely demonstrate compassion for women.
Oh, what we do to our women.
I just think as a species we should have figured this out by now and I think we should have fixed this by now.
And I would offer up this challenge: as a gender, we need to start with women not condemning other women.