Can you believe it? Another year is gone. Samhain is 8 days away.
Usually, I would be taking this time to go over triumphs and major screw-ups, that I’ve managed to accomplish, put my energy into creating a ritual worthy of the occasion.
Can’t do it this year. It has been too jumbled, too confused, too many things happening and not yet done. No thinking about what to do in order to fix the screw-ups. I can’t pin them down.
Rituals? I’ve left them off for quite a while now. Life has been so incredibly…well, life-like, that I can’t seem to settle myself down, long enough to put a ritual into motion. Oh I know..rituals serve to ground and all that stuff but you need to have a certain amount of grounding to execute the ritual in the first place – so it becomes a Catch 22.
I don’t know if the family, as a whole, is in the head space to commit to ritual. A lot of them are overworked, emotionally exhausted; there’s a lot of anger and frustration. Yes, a ritual could gather and direct energies but it could also end up being a major release of negativity into an already messed up universe. A ritual, in this period of family dynamics, would be a touchy thing to create. And I don’t know if I have the inner strength to take this on, if the truth must will out. I’m stretched every which way.
A friend of mine often refers to soul age; if I were to use her definitions of the young souls – I find myself inundated with them lately. The people who lie to enhance their self-image, the manipulators, who do what they do also to enhance self-image and to maintain control over their lives, at any cost. Fearful people, so wrapped up in terror of losing control that this fear seems to shadow everything, wherever they go. Taking some literary license from a favourite film “They tax me.”
Just avoiding them, at times, takes more energy than I really feel they deserve. There’s no point in fighting them or trying to get them to see reason. It isn’t their time nor my place. I just want to pull the “old souls” close and take solace there but this is life. Hiding away is not an option. I find myself reaching for an Advil or some Motrin because the effects are, sometimes, physical.
I guess this blog is a cathartic one of sorts – laying out the reasons as to why a ritual is essential right now, if only to serve as a focal point for the coming year. Prioritize and come to place whereby I can keep what I need and file the rest away in the round filing cabinet in the mind. I need to keep the young souls at arms’ length for now. Let them muddle about on their own and keep all their immature energies away from me until I come to that place, again, where I’m grounded enough to deal with them and not end up with a headache. They have their road to create, their journey to chart and it isn’t mine. Been there, done that and I’m too tired to explain the reasons “Why” to those who simply don’t want or do not have the capacity to understand.
Pfffffffffff. Yup. Probably what all this verbal vomit is all about. The ritual needs to come out and the cards will have to fall where they may. Negative energies have to be gathered up and returned to the people who have sent them out there in the first place. Time to put an end to the chaos that has reigned supreme this past year. Time for young souls to face the consequences of what they have created, whether or not they have the wherewithal to understand these consequences, is not my affair. Getting rid of them though, is my business. Yup, guess it is time to pull out, dust off and ready the big guns.