What’s done, is done. It can’t be changed, it can’t be altered. Sure, we can learn from it but as human beings? We, more often than not, never do. We slap on rose coloured glasses and willfully remember only what we care to remember. We do ourselves this kindness because our truths can be unbearable painful to face. Reality is seldom pleasant.
Why bring back the past? Why raise spectres best left where they reside, in the dark recesses of memory? Why revisit painful events, why force them on others?
Reminiscing is one thing, dredging up shadows is quite another. What is the purpose? If something has been put away, locked away, buried, it should remain so.
Someone has brought up the past. Someone who really had no right to do so as they were not involved and now? Through no choice of our own, we have been forced to re-visit what should have remained in our personal history.
The truth, the cold stark reality of life is that when we make our choices, quite often, we cannot change the path down which we must travel, as a result. Those choices are our personal paths; we have no right to drag others along the road with us. This is an important lesson that we should all be teaching our children. Be careful with your choices because they can become phantoms that may re-visit at a later date, whether we want this to happen or not. There will always be someone out there who decides that they have the right to disrupt our lives.
For most of us, life can be a hard journey, fraught with consequences to our actions but these are OUR personal actions. We do not have the right or privilege to force others to take on the pain of those choices. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve made colossal mistakes but they are mine and I claim sole ownership of them.
Use life choices, mistakes as lessons for others to learn by but don’t force those mistakes into the lives of others. To teach is one thing, to interfere in the lives of others is quite another.
Years have a way of lessening the impact of regret. If it takes years to express regret, then how does that validate the emotion? True regret is expressed as soon as it is felt, the longer the time frame between the action and the expression, dilutes the impact. Salving a conscience is a selfish motivation. The most selfish. Nothing is gained by anyone except the individual seeking relief from guilt. In fact, more often than not, only the individual benefits and leaves emotional wreckage in their attempt to ease their burden of choice.
Leave the past where it belongs. In the past. The future, whatever it holds, always presents ways for us to learn, it opens the doors for us as opposed to forcing open entries best left alone. We can learn from the past. We can absorb these lessons for our own progress. These are our lessons, not designed for someone else, regardless of how it may ease our own minds.
As the graphic so aptly states: Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point and LEAVE it behind.